me miserable sucker? oh no i'm not! but yes, you are!

Hey its Christmas!
new day, new vigor!

just can't believe me alive over again..
why say so? hey bcuz i'm writing something here at least!
i think i got new strength for today..



oh well of course i did!
i'd changed my blog's url and password..
apparently no one i know would trace me any longer..

what a wonderful life, life with distance with ppl that i hate,
life with fully privacy, i just hate being watched,
i hate making ppl so curious about me - they are so curious if i talk bout themselves!



oh please!so much things i need to talk but please laa it's not you..
why they so eager judging and watching after me?
i don't have the answer for it..
oh!because of i am famous perhaps? ha-ha r e a l y f a m o u s !

yesterday was so-so bad day for me..sigh
something unbearable was happened,
till i dumped my boy again and again,
and i promise things wont happen again..



i was so sick! so tired dumped him endlessly!
God!if i could simply forget him without a hitch!

Assyura' day is coming as its fall on this Sunday..
i think i would love fasting on that day..
hoping i'll be BLESSED, hoping i could be as my old me..
ugh!that's so secretive of me!
too much things happened but no one knows..



sometimes life's not fair..
sometimes ppl can done wrong, sometimes they just can't..
sometimes particular person can do shit things but they always happy..
sometimes particular person do shit things and they got back the shit things..
sometimes ppl betrayed others..
why everyone - everythings is unfair?



i always become the miserable sucker!
oh yes, that's so unlucky me!
i'm the one to face the betrayal, facing the shit things,
and all the bad things was meant for me all the time!


^^assume he were me

i just can't find out why God give life to heartless ppl,
and the main enigma - why God gave me warmheartedness?
every single time i used to bear every-bad-things done to me!
as long as i am warmhearted, i am forgivable,,
i just let ppl do bad things so then only they will be happy..
oh yes!happy on my sadness?
that's very great!

maybe one day they will be sad on my happiness?
i guess so, i pray for it!
if they think i'll be sad bcuz of themselves, they are obviously wrong!
i'm not easily pissed off bcuz i know God is always fair..

p/s :